Christmas Tree Around the World

Check this out!

http://www.latimes.com/travel/la-trw-xmastree-pg,0,7335460.photogallery?24

My personal favs pics above!

Perceptions......

Always believed that Perceptions can be change many views...often from what actually happened to you think happened. Some examples to get the message along....

(1) At work, there was this chap that was perceived by many leaders as a rebel, someone who didn't follow the rules, didn't conform cos he always questioned the normal way of doing things.....in other words, he reminded me of me :) I was informed that I need to be wary of him & not expect much from him cos he's just a trouble-maker....I remembered myself & decided to give him a chance & now he's one of the shining stars....

(2) At home, just had a minor crisis involving my gm & the maid....maid's been trying her best to take care of her by cooking her healthy food....old lady thinks she's being mean cos she doesn't want to cook her what she wants....had to resolve the mini war that came out of that perception.....

(3) someone close to me believed that I was out to get her & her $. That meant that everything I did & didn't do was perceived as furthering that perception e.g. if I visited her, that's because I wanted to get closer to her & if I didn't visit, I was being difficult & didn't appreciate her for her being there for me. She thought of me being hard-up when I pursued my hobby & gained some experience selling them. I didn't know all of that until much later & boy was I disappointed at all that fuss for $. Gives a new perception to the whole new reason why $ isn't all it's cut out to be. It actually gave me a whole new way of viewing the commodity - 

• definitely not one that can't be brought to where one goes after life
• not one that helps mend bridges
• complicates when it becomes the focus of relationships

Growing Up....

Today I had to take a "grow up" lesson....frankly what I do is really the bad guy job most of the times......other names are the gatekeeper/ stumbling block/ red tape/ enforcer.....but today I had to exercise a MAJOR decision that brought me to the full realisation on what "doing my job" really means.

To a certain extent, making the call today was really frightening & fearful for me as the consequences are wide-ranging in many respects "business -wise" & the mother of all decisions in many respects :P

Thankully had a chat with the big guy & he assured me of his support. He even said he didn't pay me to be the "yes" man! *hurray* I guess......This assurance certainly makes the decision I had to make tonnes easier to bear.

Read this MSN article (timing is perfect I must say - wondering if is there some unforeseen hand giving me some tips....hmmmm) on "How to make the bad image work for you"

p.s. if you are wondering why I picked the poisonous frog as my picture for this entry....well, that's how I felt today when I made the decision.....

Stay at Hong Kong- The Mira & Charlie Brown

Stayed at this beautiful hotel in Kowloon Hong Kong called "The Mira Hong Kong".
The room at The Mira was beautiful - green & white being the principal colours. The place is heaven for gadget freaks like me cos free Wi-fi (wireless computer included with LCD TV being the screen) & automated shower screens etc.....that means you cannot be eye-sight challenged if you want to stay here as mood lighting is the name of the game :)

Took a Citybus from the airport (quite cheap HKD33 (ard SGD6) compared to HKD100+ for airport transfer.

Besides that, the place is wonderfully located near Tsim Sha Tsui MTR Station (Exit B) where the shops are open till midnight (I don't see that anywhere else in Hong Kong the whole time I was there). Love the little shops along the streets. Found a lovely cafe called "Charlie Brown" with all the furniture and fittings & figurines of the famous Snoopy, Lucy, Tweety & of course, good ol' Charlie Brown. Some pictures where even the waffles & cakes are also shaped accordingly.

Today....

Today started off pretty uneventful - I didn't plan to do much in fact as ran out of ideas on what to do for my free time *hahaha* (that's what happens when one has been working non-stop for the longest time :P)


Anyways, decided will go down for a yoga session in the morning & managed to grab a little massage on the massage chair at the yoga place before that. Met hub for lunch at a nice quaint La Mien cum Xiao Long Bao place (Hua Yi) at International Building - the Xiao Long Bao there is even better than Crystal Jade one with the only other restaurant beating it for the Xiao Long Bao is the Din Tai Fung outlets.


Grabbed a nice cold drink at the new TCC at 1st floor International Building - nice place to chill for a hot day as you can see the Orchard Road human traffice from that place. The service was good & the decor of that place was interesting (not like the other TCC outlets).


Guess what?! At that time we were at TCC, the weather changed from bright & sunny to dark & cloudy....that's weather in Singapore for you....


Was on the way out when the boss of our fav foot reflex place (Footworks) told us that my fav foot reflex guy is available for a foot rub....Woo Hoo!!! That ended a perfect day for me!

Kid's 1st dental surgery

Kid's 1st dental surgery occurred yesterday - pretty freaked as he had complained about having pain on his teeth one night and ended up with a swollen cheek the next morning (twice the size of his other cheek). Had made some panicky calls to the national dental clinic to schedule a check-up. Found out that the swelling was due to a decayed molar on his right cheek. *Sigh* largely due to bad oral hygiene. Felt like I failed as mom when I heard that from the doctor. That check-up was done on Wed & the surgery was scheduled on Thurs at 730 in the morning.

My baby had to be knocked out to get the offending tooth out. Pained me real bad as I had to hold his hand while he was being given the gas. Was told that the procedure to take out the offending tooth would take some time but he was done within half hour (very long half hour) - largely cos he yanked out the tube that was put down his throat to help him breathe.

He yelled at the top of his voice when he woke up from his stupor after the op. Kicked a huge fuss at the waiting area for about 1.5 hrs. Most traumatic experience & won't want to do it ever again if I can help it (crossing my fingers as he's got another offending molar on the other side).

Walk in the Park

Some pics I took while walking in the park -i.e. Henderson Waves & Hortpark. The walk's a great way to spend some time with your loved one or bring along a friend to see somewhere one doesn't often see in Singapore.

Link to NParks website on park connector

2 cents regarding recent financial turmoil

After seeing the latest bloodbath unfold in the financial side, I realized that investment is largely emotional affair. When markets get jitters, those who invested for reasons like stability, security, or having that retirement fund (all long term ideas mind you) will push out all those reasons aside & act emotionally (in other words, irrationally to a certain extent).

Here's my 2 cents worth on what's happening:

1. from what I have read & understood, the cpy just needs to pump in $ as it's credit rating got 2 notches down. But I am no expert in such stuff


2. even if the worst fears are true, the question is whether a bail out shld be done especially if the previous financial goals (back when you 1st got that policy) remains the same? From what I know, the local government is regarded as one of the strictest in the world when it comes to separating assets & liabilities (even when dealing with a branch of a foreign cpy like AIG). With this, I am willing to bet my last dollar that a situation will not occur where a policyholder will not get any money or get less than what he should be getting out of the policy. But then again, I am no expert.....


3. others have also said that given the unstable nature of current world economy, there's no certainty which other company is safe. From what I know, such mkt adjustments is shown over & over again in history & that old history lady has shown that there is always hope as such circumstances will not go on & on forever....


4. coffee shop talk sometimes totally baffles me esp people who encourage/put fear into the minds of friends, colleagues, relatives & encouage them to surrender their policies especially their ILPs. I do not doubt for a minute that their intentions are good but given the current situation, all bailouts come at a HUGE cost to the investor. If financial goals continue to remain long term & even if they feel (not know) that 'cash is king' in such times, withdrawal is not the best policy as far as I know. But then again, I am no expert.

The above are totally my personal views which have no basis in financial or any other deep stuff that comes along with such opinions.

1st ayurvedic treatment

I had the good fortune to trying out the following 2 therapies at Century 10 at Campbell Lane this morning:

1. Abhyanga: Ayurvedic Warm Oil Massage

2. Shirodhara: Ayurvedic Bliss Therapy (pic above)
   

The conclusion?

• Relaxing most absolutely definately - I have never felt so at peace in all my spa sessions. The feeling is totally out of this world! Clear headed, felt like I could face the world after that, light footed, walking on air, urge to only eat vege after that (go figure!)
  
• Oily definately - I needed a good hair wash at the hairdressers thereafter LOL
  
• Going back for more? Yes! Yes! Yes! In fact, booked for another session next week (same 2 therapies plus "Bashpa Swedana: Full Body Herbal Steam Therapy".
  

Info on various therapies offered

1st day of 1 month break

Today is the 1st day of my 1 month break from my ol job & before I start on my new place. It's great to wake up this morning not having to rush to go to work. I had the time to talk to my kids in the morning instead of rushing them to get them ready.

It's also frightening at the same time as this is the 1st time I am not working for such a long time (previously in-between job breaks were non-existent as essentially was a Fri being the last day & starting work the Monday after). But as usual, the fright is fast wearing off as I will be filling my days with yoga, exercise & pampering myself major (e.g. vacation, spas, pedi & mani, hair, tea etc) LOL.

Great Sushi place!!!

Will be regretting that I ever blogged this but here goes.....the BEST sushi place I ever got to know & my belly's grumbling every week (specifically on Tuesday as that's my swim day & pig out day all rolled into 1.

Found this hyperlink to blog that says it all..... http://yum.sg/restaurants/fish_mart_sakuraya_parkway_parade/

Yummy delicious & best sushi ever tasted....MUST TRYS:
potato salad
salmon belly
handrolls especially the seafood salad one
fresh scallop

Psst - you see Sakae on the same floor & it's at the end of that same row:)

Addition on 1 Sep 08:
add on to the list of must trys:
Tofu salad - cold appertiser but absolutely deeeelicious

Me closing a chapter

I finally closed a chapter - was asked by my staff on whether it was true that I was leaving just last week & even though it broke my heart to answer that question to that person (as we work quite closely together over the past year or so), I had to say "yes".

"What did I achieve in that year at my current position?"

That was what I asked myself when the staff went on to ask "What we going to do now once you are gone?"

I told him that he & everyone else will continue with what they do best.
I told him that the one thing I believe I have achieved is to ask "Why?" to current processes & procedures (i.e. the way we do things) & showing that there's always another way to do things (the alternative may not be the right way but there's always another way)
I have asked for changes to processes that have been in place since the start of the department including challenging the "that's the way it is done" mentality.
I have lost & won some battles but at the end of my song, it is really "I did it my way".

"What have I learnt about myself for the past year?"

This is what I asked myself when I was chatting with a close friend yesterday.

I have never thought that I could lead a team of 30 simply because my earlier departments have always been quite small.
I never knew what was my leadership style......
I have since found out that I take on the style of a forward-thinking person i.e. always anticipating change & looking at processes/ procedures that will fit future numbers at least months/years ahead & of course, challenging norms/ breaking new ground.

It has been an interesting year & the experiences will stay with me......

Happiness

Happiness is watching the kids play - knowing that the time with them will never come again...
Happiness is enjoying where we are - at that particular place & time & knowing there's no other place we are meant to be....
Happiness is being able to count my blessings e.g. ability to breathe, walk, waking up in the mornings, giving a hug to my kids & many many more blessings for each day...
Happiness is just being....

Jewel's onboard...so is Crystal

Found a lovely little bunny today....
Lovely shade of grey mixed with silver.
JEWEL's her name because she's a gem to behold.
Cute as a little bunny & cuddly like a teddy
Ryan loves the Jewel & can't wait to play with her
Natalie talks non-stop about her & can't wait to hold her
Daddy's beaming from ear to ear cos he finally has company again on his late night TV
Mommy likes rabbits which are cute & cuddly....can't wait to bring the white shaded friend home tomorrow - her name will be CRYSTAL!

Here's 1 video & pic....

Embarking on a new direction

I am in the final stages of embarking into a new direction - career-wise. To a certain extent, am quite sad as I have built nice relationships with the people I worked for & with for the past 5 over years but the new place simply posed too many opportunities for me to ignore.

• Going back to my roots in my new place but also many exciting challenges ahead :)
• Reporting direct to the main man in my new place & so far, I enjoy the communication process as it's been quite open (European style I think suits me much better than American style to a certain extent).
  
• Speed of things definitely faster in my new environment but it suits me fine.
  
• Volume is not the name of the game but rather quality of work counts - which also suits me fine.
• My current place has its daily challenges e.g. TAT, management which will not be seen at my new place. Judging from the information given during the meetings, I will be looking at fewer cases but more challenging tie-ups which is both exciting & scary at the same time :)
  

My current place has emotional ties with me & of course, the familiarity of knowing how things work does help but my gut is telling me it'll a good move & I am going with that....

Wish me Luck!

Picked the eagle shot as it speaks of how I am feeling right now :)

my heart's broken....

was not sure how to blog this cos I know I am not the sentimental type .... at least not as far as it comes to pets but I must say that my heart's broken when the pet rabbit that I got for the kids died last Sunday (exactly 2 weeks after we got it from the pet shop).....I've had my fair share of pets & mind you, I really cried when my cat, Boxy passed away some years ago (due to old age).... but what surprised me for Toffee was that this little girl was only with us for a mere 2 weeks before she died (unfortunately gasping for air at the end after having some stomach problems for the afternoon)....sigh...didn't even have time to take a nice photo of Toffee *my US lop-earred rabbit*

25 Aug 08: Update - managed to find a video which shows Toffee (unfortuantely greedy state) :)

Primary 1 registration

This week has been a harrowing experience as it's Pri 1 registration week for Singapore (I am in phase 2B as religion is considered a priority to enter into certain schools). Initially did the registration at a school nearby my place after waiting some 2 hrs in line (christian boys). Unfortunately, the wait was in vain as was informed the next day that the number of applications in that school far exceeded the spaces allocated & hub & i only had another chance to register at another christian boy school in the same phase. After a couple of phone calls & a few hours of waiting at another christian boys school, we finally managed to firm up the registration.

Was asked by some friends why the need to register into a christian boys school when there's a very famous school (non christian) just down the road. For me, it was more about a feeling to a certain extent & heritage in another way as hub & i were both educated in christian schools which were single gender (up until college).

I can't explain why but I hold the hope that if my child is educated in a reasonably well christian school, human values (rather than simply academia) is integrated as part of the child's make-up. In the end, for me, at the end of the day, I would rather my child be able to survive in the world hopefully with values that will stay with him for his lifetime & be a positive & contributing person (as opposed to just a brainy kid with limited values) that will help him/her survive the many many years after school.

True Friends

True Friends- Unknown

Happy Week Ahead!

Maldives....a paradise on earth

What I absolutely love about this vacation:

nature & time with my hub & my book reading ....

Now for the all-time list:

1. The glorious lovely all day sun....
   
2. the never ending sea tides & powdery white sand....
   
3. the wonderful fishes that swim around you as if you are part of them in the ocean....
   
4. the lovely wonderfully shaped sea shells that only nature can produce. managed to get a nice variety that kids will be delighted with...
   
5. the beautiful beach with endless sea that goes on for as far as the eye can see....
   
6. the warm soft rain in the afternoons....
   
7. the time with hubby cos it's been a long time since we had time spent together just being with each other without the phone or Internet..... just enjoying each other's company....
   
8. the fact that you can see the clear water & white sand below even if you are standing in water up above your head.......
   
9. the fishes that resembles promfrets that swim in schools so near to the shore (around ankle deep water).....
   
10. beautiful pockets of coral that still teems with fish even if it is the only one standing in the vast area......
    
11. the pair of yellow finned fish that swam next to hub & me for most of the scuba diving experience. schools after schools of fish.....
    
12. dinner by the moon light with prawns so fresh & a platter of meat cooked to perfection.....
    
13. hubby's gift of song from "Don Williams - You're my best friend" with words that made me cry & love my hub all the more....the lyrics are: 

You placed gold on my finger

You brought love life I've never known 

You gave life to our children

And to me, a reason to go on. 

You're my bread when I'm hungry

You're my shelter from troubled winds

You're my anchor in life's ocean 

But most of all, you're my best friend 

When I need hope and inspiration

You're always strong when I'm tired and weak

I could search this whole world over

You'd still be everything that I need. 

Last but not least, I actually managed to read 2 books -"Eat, Pray, Love" (about a woman who travelled to Italy. India & Bali in search of what is true for her - what better to read a trip book when one is on a trip :)) & "The Saint, the Surfer & the CEO" by Robin Sharma (a self-realization book of what life's purpose & how to live fulfilling lives.n many ways, both books remind me about another fav book, "Conversations with God" by Neale Donald Walsh

Messages to remind me of the wonderful book adventures taken for this trip.....

• "When the student is ready, the teacher appears." 
• "Human reaction either stems from love or fear - nothing else" 
• "Joy, truth & love shows us which messages are divine messages" 
• "Our journeys are always what benefits others as service for other are our common goals" 
• "Each of us are perfect in ourselves. "
• "We are unhapy the farther we are not living out our destiny. We innately know as we are all in the process of self discovery more like remembering what we are. We are not learning anything new as what we know lies deep in our hearts."
  

"The Monk who sold his Ferrari" by Robin Sharma

Read this book recently - must say that it was the title that 1st got hub's attention. Surprisingly he bought the book (usually he's not into the self-help books - that's more my thing :)) & recommended me reading it.....as usual, was juggling reading about 4 books at that time so didn't manage to get down to this book till some time later. 

The book's easy reading cos got storyline infused into the "teachings" - a bit zen-like but not too overpowering. The ideas are quite interesting although being a self-help book junkie, the teachings have been taught earlier in other books like "One Minute Millionaire", various books by Og Mandino & Neale Donald Walsh.....

Quite a nice read with easy to recall concepts.....some reviewers have stated that the book has life changing concepts...from what i see on its impact on hub, i would say it has made him & me more aware of what influences or has an impact on deeds & words......

Siloso Beach Getaway

Just had a nice getaway at Siloso Beach Sentosa (kids holiday cos too busy at work to take  leave) - definitely one of my fav places in S'pore....loved the breakfast served (what can beat fresh croissants baked in front of you & nice chilled fruits kept in the fridge?)....saw "Songs of the Sea" & found that it quite entertaining... topped off with a nice beautiful sunset...what more can I ask for a mini-vac?

Back from 2-weeks secondment

Back from my 2-week secondment in HK....boy! this is the LONGEST time I have been away from my family & the most unusual way to boot! Oft had to remind myself why I was given the chance to be there learning from my Home Office side & my Hong kong counterparts.....coldest period that I have experienced in all trips to HK...did loads of self-exploration as got loads of time to myself for the 2 weeks..I think I also can almost say that I've been there done that - took all available means of transport in HK (ferry, MTR, small bus, normal bus & cable car)...even tried some hiking to boot :)

Here's some shots from my 3 hrs hiking (done that & won't be doing that anytime soon again *hahaha8) & my cable car experience (exhilarating as foggy & almost surreal experience being up there in the clouds):

flower show at Sentosa 2008

Spent about an hour in one of CNY hols at the Sentosa's flower show...pretty great effort considering the heat & scorching sun....it was nice but really crowded as throngs of people (mostly Chinese tourists naturally) flocked to take photos with the giant flower displays stretching from one end of impian station to beach station. Overall great effort & lovely displays...pity about the heat though....drop down if you have the time cos it's only till next week!

Growing old...

Decided to do this post as just came back from birthday celebrations for hub's friend's dad who turned 80 last week....got me thinking of where I want to be when I am 80 (if I live that long that is...;) 

Hopefully Life at 80 for me will be as follows:

limbs intact & in working order

brain intact & in working order

able to eat, laugh & be merry 

have a group of people i love around me & loving to be around me 

What do you want to be life for you at 80? 

A wonderful break at BKK over Christmas

Was in BKK over the Christmas break all the way till New Year's Eve...this time spent some time in the Thai countryside....was an eye-opener as who would have thought that in just 1 hr away from BKK city centre, there will fresh crisp air with wineries, horse riding, Thai cowboys, farmstays, Thai country music & waterfalls? 

The pictures show some fantastic R&R....very refreshed from the whole experience & looking forward to a great 2008! 

43 inspirational quotes - Mr Blue Sky. ELO.. loved everyone of it!

Company D & D

Always grabbed the opportunity to dress up for my company's D&D (as funky as possible will be good thank you :)) Always had my funky hair-do (wigs no less) but this year's different cos had to cover my head cos I was well "in the character" so to speak.....
did my scary make-up done really last minute but it really turned out well scary that the make-up artist was scared that i won't go along with it :)

Kudos to everyone who went along with being crazy for the night :)

Birthday Makan at Dempsey road

It is nice stepping into PS Cafe (Dempsey Road) for the 1st time & what better than to have my birthday dinner there....


For starters, had corn & chicken chowder soup - lovely cream soup with some nice toast. Had marvellicious soft tender Tenderloin with bacon (medium well done to perfection) for main meal. Just had to leave some space for a nice choc 3" cake nicely matched with vanillia ice cream (which actually tasted quite wonderful without the usual ice within that you find in other restaurants' made ice cream). Family was there tucking into fish & chips (signature dish) & fish steak...which were lovely as well....all in all, a good meal with good company. Matched with good service staff & ambience & you've got a winning place that I will go back again & again...:)

PS Picture from http://sparklette.net/archives/ps-cafe-dine-in-seclusion/

Heard that there's a nice Ben & Jerry's round the corner....hmmm kids will definately love such a place so will definately make my way there another day :)

Upcoming Birthday celebrations......

Oh! oh! just realised the Big Birthday's coming up.....am not usually fussed about it except that at least hubby must remember that day :)

Hubby's been nice - got me an iPhone for my birthday knowing the geek in me that will drool over the whole cool factor......

What's not to drool eh? Except that the unlocking bit takes some getting used to *Hahaha*

Had to redo the unlocking when did a software update.....after that read about some lawsuit (in US of course) re the iPhone becoming an iBrick after the update (http://www.computing.co.uk/vnunet/news/2200760/apple-faces-class-action-suit)

Now back to using the cool gadget......Tata! :)

Results of Personality Assessment via online test

Was bored from all the leadership talk.....I did a personality test online- here's the results:

Your personality can best be described as choleric.
You are the extrovert, the doer and the optimist. [can't really figure that extrovert/ optimist parts :p]

STRENGTH

Your personality strengths:

You are a born leader, dynamic and active and have a compulsive need for change.
You often feel that you must correct wrongs.

You are strong-willed and decisive, independent and self-sufficient. You are not easily discouraged and can be unemotional when necessary.

You are capable of running anything and exude confidence.

Your strengths at home

You are an expert in exerting sound leadership, establishing goals and able to motivate the family in to action.
You always know the right answer and organise the household.


Your strengths at work

You are very goal oriented, see the whole picture and organise well.
You seek practical solutions to problems and move quickly to action.

You delegate work but insist on productivity.

You make the goals, stimulate activity and thrive on opposition.

Your strengths in relationships

You have little need for friends and will work for group activity.
You often lead from the front, organise and are usually right.

You excel during emergencies.

WEAKNESS

Your personality weaknesses

You can be bossy and impatient. You are quick tempered, can't relax and can be too impetuous.
You enjoy controversy and arguments and won't give up when losing.

You can come on too strong, are inflexible and uncomplimentary.

You dislike tears and emotions and are generally unsympathetic. [this is really true BTW...i cringe if anyone cries in front of me esp. if he/she was wrong to start off...]


Your weaknesses at home
You tend to over dominate, are too busy for your family and will often give answers too quickly.
You are impatient with poor performance and won't let children relax if you have any. You are likely to send them in to depression. [this is really true BTW...i must remember NOT to do this man!]


Your weaknesses at work
You have little tolerance for mistakes, however, you don't analyse details yourself, are bored by trivia and can often make rash decisions.
You can be rude and tactless and often manipulate people.
You are demanding of others and believe that the end justifies the means.
Work may become the driving force in your life and you demand loyalty in the ranks.


Your weaknesses in relationships
You tend to use people and dominate others. You make decisions on other people's behalf and you know everything.
You can do everything better, are too independent and are overly possessive of friends and mate.
You can't say sorry and, although you may often be right, you can become unpopular.

Must take all the above advice & constantly remind myself if my weaknesses so that I can become a better person! :)

Leadership...

Attended a leadership course over the last 2 days at Sentosa....heartening to know that there's some help for me in my new expanded job scope that I will be taking on for the near future.....

The course was a brief intro to the organisation for the selected group of 21 guys and girls. We had a crash course on leadership skills for a day before having a sort of "amazing race" for the 2nd day. Each of the 7 team members had a chance to be a leader to help the team to find clues... when my turn came as the leader, my team was faced with many clues (in fact the most we found in an area for that day). Everyone had mixed ideas on what should be the right answer. When faced with the choices, I said "I am the leader, I decide." In many ways, that short statement explained my leadership style I guess :)

I realised that I need a LOT of help to manage a team of 30 pax in my new job scope...so far throughout my working life, I have only had to deal with max 5-6 pax in my team (departments have always been lean for the companies I have worked for some reason :P) have bought a few management/leadership books & crossing fingers that my brain will be working from all the "dry" management mumbo jumbo LOL

Change...

(image from www.medhunters.com)

Got some news just before the National holidays which caught me somewhat by surprise.....in effect my departure from my current position will be accelerated to something more akin to what I was doing...however the speed of things to come is unexpected as my boss was thinking of transferring me as early as this week!

Fortunately, I had some time to think it over by laying by the pool side of The Pulai Desaru. I think somehow my subconcsious knew my fears and I didn't even realise that I brought along my fav book for such uncertain times i.e. "Who moved my cheese?" by Spencer Johnson. The apprehension of moving at this pt in time is rather cos of recent I have become more involved in a recent project that will stretch what I know....so in a way enjoying myself too much I guess...

The other issue is of course I will need to travel to work to another part of the island (which is great only if I live in the east which I used to but I no longer!) Tried estimating the time taken for me to get down to the east which is around 1.5 hrs from my house!

Let change be something to look forward to!

Mother's Day.....

Mother's Day just came & past.....this year somewhat have stirred up some mixed feelings..... In a way it's bittersweet cos many things have happened between my late mum & me (mostly unfortunate misunderstandings which only really got somewhat resolved around the time she was dying from cancer).

I heard the song that she sang to me when I was only 3 or 4 at mass last week (she never sang to me after that age as far as I can remember)...."God is dwelling in my heart". Although she singlehandedly raised me up, ultimately, her role switched from that of being a nurturer/caregiver to that of just being a provider. In many ways, she took on a traditional role of a "dad" more than a "mom" to me.

As such, to me, mother's day has been for some time been more to thank my grandma more than my mum cos my grandmother became my nurturer & caregiver.....she held me when i fell down, she nursed me when i was sick, she was my mentor, my guide, the one I could always count on....she is also the one now lying in a hospital bed at SGH.

It pains me to see my grandmother this way. The rational me knows that at this grand old age of 95, she will leave me at any time. But this reality hits harder when I see her lying on that hospital bed instead of being at home with me. I am sure when the time comes, I will not be "ready" for it....

Olivia Newton John Concert 2007...Love Is Letting Go Of Fear

Been wanting to blog re the ONJ concert in Spore but only now have the chance cos my mac's been at the service centre...

Personally it was the BEST concert I have ever been. She was marvelous - still have that trademark raspy voice, the "i am so heartbroken" way of singing & someone who actually sang the songs that mattered. Not surprisingly, she touched many with her love songs & her inspirational songs (after surviving breast cancer). The Catholic news featured her recently at http://www.onlyolivia.com/memorabilia/mags/2007/070513_catholic-news_sm.html....sorry something wrong with my uploading from Firefox...

Besides her gd ol favs, she of course sang some songs from her latest album "Grace & Gratitude". I remembered her singing this one song called ""Love Is Letting Go Of Fear" & I have reproduced the wonderful lyrics below:

The pain is something that you can't ignore.
You're always wondering what the hurt is for.
Your heart feels something that you cant explain.
You yearn for love but you are afraid to change.

Remember your wounded bird still sings.
Remember that faith has tiny wings.

(chorus)
Love is letting go of fear.
Love is letting go of doubt.
Love is letting go of chains
That tie your spirit down and
Love is letting of of pain.
Love is learning how to dance
Inside the light again.

You're always haunted by the love you lost.
You're scared that you'll forever pay the cost.
You believe this is the bitter end.
Better lonely than be heard again.

Remember there is always one more chance.
Remember your love's the only dance."

Perfectionist....

I have heard myself being called a "Perfectionist" at several points in my life. I am also guilty of saying this to some friends. Found an online test - just had to take that test to see how true it is. This is what Discovery Heath has to say about a perfectionist ....happy testing!

About Perfectionism

Perfectionism can be a healthy quality that drives a person to try his/her best and to make the effort to excel. Some people, however, take the strive for perfection too far...and there is a price to pay. Extreme perfectionists are forever dissatisfied; they can never fulfill their own expectations so, in their own eyes, they are always failures. Chronic perfectionism is driven by deep-seated feelings of inferiority and self-hate, and by nature it reinforces a negative self-image. Performing tasks or fulfilling goals becomes intimidating and unpleasant, since the perfectionist knows deep down that the finished product will never meet his/her expectations. So the perfectionist might have problems with procrastination. Perfectionism, then, can become a double-edged sword - the perfectionist is driven by a desire to succeed, as well as a fear of failure which leaves him/her paralyzed.

In all realms, striving for excellence can be beneficial and lead to a fulfilling professional and personal life. Accepting nothing less than excellence, on the other hand, can be emotionally scarring.

For anyone interested to know the results of my test...here it is :) good to know that i m only borderline extreme yah? :)

Results of Your Perfectionism Test

	Perfectionism
Your score = 73

What does your score mean?

According to this test, you have some perfectionist tendencies that may be making you unnecessarily unhappy. You sometimes set high standards that are difficult to meet; either you impose those expectations on yourself, others, or a combination of the two. You may even think that others expect you to be perfect. While a desire to do your very best and strive to reach your full potential can bring you personal fulfillment, you have to learn when good is 'good enough'. It's important that you strengthen your ability to distinguish between reasonable aspirations and unrealistic demands. When you set unattainable objectives, you are being cruel to yourself and denying yourself the rewards and self-acceptance that you deserve.

Go on....take the test & post the results on your blog....;)