Perfectionist....

I have heard myself being called a "Perfectionist" at several points in my life. I am also guilty of saying this to some friends. Found an online test - just had to take that test to see how true it is. This is what Discovery Heath has to say about a perfectionist ....happy testing!

About Perfectionism

Perfectionism can be a healthy quality that drives a person to try his/her best and to make the effort to excel. Some people, however, take the strive for perfection too far...and there is a price to pay. Extreme perfectionists are forever dissatisfied; they can never fulfill their own expectations so, in their own eyes, they are always failures. Chronic perfectionism is driven by deep-seated feelings of inferiority and self-hate, and by nature it reinforces a negative self-image. Performing tasks or fulfilling goals becomes intimidating and unpleasant, since the perfectionist knows deep down that the finished product will never meet his/her expectations. So the perfectionist might have problems with procrastination. Perfectionism, then, can become a double-edged sword - the perfectionist is driven by a desire to succeed, as well as a fear of failure which leaves him/her paralyzed.

In all realms, striving for excellence can be beneficial and lead to a fulfilling professional and personal life. Accepting nothing less than excellence, on the other hand, can be emotionally scarring.

For anyone interested to know the results of my test...here it is :) good to know that i m only borderline extreme yah? :)

Results of Your Perfectionism Test

	Perfectionism
Your score = 73

What does your score mean?

According to this test, you have some perfectionist tendencies that may be making you unnecessarily unhappy. You sometimes set high standards that are difficult to meet; either you impose those expectations on yourself, others, or a combination of the two. You may even think that others expect you to be perfect. While a desire to do your very best and strive to reach your full potential can bring you personal fulfillment, you have to learn when good is 'good enough'. It's important that you strengthen your ability to distinguish between reasonable aspirations and unrealistic demands. When you set unattainable objectives, you are being cruel to yourself and denying yourself the rewards and self-acceptance that you deserve.

Go on....take the test & post the results on your blog....;)

Closure....

Closure is a oft-used word to describe an end to a usually painful experience.

Recently my understanding of this word has been tested by a recent experience of my hub. After some 3 yrs of agonizing wait involving the all impt "not knowing what's going to happen to me", he (and me) finally got closure via a judgement made by 3 supposed wise men.

The decision was a harsh one given that it was noted that it was a one-off event BUT for what it's worth, it gave closure. Closure because it allowed my hub to put in place his work plans for the next 1+ yrs....plans which were in a way dependant on this outcome. Closure for me cos I now know how to plan for the family....

I must admit I was saddened that he can't continue with what he has been doing for the past 10+ years of his life but i try to help him by looking things on the bright side. It's frightening for both of us cos he basically knows how to do this 1 job only to be told he can't do it for the next 1+year.....the blessings i have so far counted for him are:

1. he is not too old to start looking for something else - at least not in heart and mind. he's not really learning new tricks but in a way adapting his work to new environment. He thinks his new environment is better as it's anything goes from now on without outside inhibitions or restrictions.
   
2. in the process of this journey, he found out who his friends are. I am glad....

• Friends who basically stood by him, to comfort him - including spending sleepless nights & many many hours preparing for the case & those who couldn't sleep just because they were worrying about the outcome.
  
• Unfortunately or fortunately, he also found out those who took flight at the sight of any "danger"...... although it was terribly hard for him to experience that type of betrayal of friendship but it's part of life's lessons & better now than later when you really need to count on that person.
  
• A friend who got him an air ticket just because & another who travelled from one end of the island to another to just have drinks with him & see how he was......

He sent me a message earlier to thank me for being there for him.....being strong for him. Essentially that's the only way I know how to cope....following life's disappointments and setbacks, comes the strength and the resilience - this is my grandma's life lesson "Only when I believe that I am down will everyone else see me as downtrodden."
& our vows are "to walk together thru good times & bad times....."

Finally I gave hub a challenge to show those who brought him down this time round that he's still standing & on top of that, make a success out of this period.

Wish us luck!

Great Books in my world....Conversations with God

I am a bit of a bookie...have had my nose buried in books for as long as I remember. Of recent, I have read & recently re-read some of my books. Generally mysteries don't really interest me, horror books scares me; romance books bores me to death & well, that leaves vy much with feel good/self-help books after taking out all of that isn't it? :)

I have recently got myself an ebook of my fav book "Conversations with God - an uncommon dialogue" Hearing the book is better than reading it as I cannot get over the fact that the content speaks to me a way i can't really explain why.

Raised as a Christian, the book goes against all that I have been taught all my life about the BIG questions concerning God, values, life yet somehow hearing the book still surprises me as much as the 1st time i read it. Here's what Amazon said about the book.....

Blasphemy! Heresy! Who does this man think he is, claiming to speak directly to God?! Jesus did it, Muhammad did it, the Jewish prophets did it, but none of their Gods had the sardonic wit or raw verve of Prophet Walsch's God. Neale Donald Walsch isn't claiming to be the Messiah of a new religion, just a frustrated man who sat down one day with pen in his hand and some tough questions in his heart. As he wrote his questions to God, he realized that God was answering them... directly... through Walsch's pen. The result, far from the apocalyptic predictions or cultic eccentricities you might expect, turns out to be matter-fact, in-your-face wisdom on how to get by in life while remaining true to yourself and your spirituality.

For the rest who have read the book but dismissed it as blasphemy or simply ridiculous, it's ok....... although I urge that you re-read the book, hopefully you will be able to read it at least 1 time with an open mind.

For me, deep down, I know I really want what the book says to be true i.e. that God is all loving, all powerful & not vengeful or at least one who will cast my soul to eternal hell once I step out of the boundaries.

Read with your heart and soul (not mind) & then decide - even f the book is all nonsense, wouldn't it be wonderful if God is just like how Neale Donald Walsh described him to be? to me, that thought is why i highly recommend the book to all, whatever is your religion. The best passage is the parable on the little soul and the sun.

Next posting will likely be on what is another great author to me i.e. Mitch Albom as I just read his recent book, "for one more day".....or maybe on something more light-hearted like "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus" by John Gray.....until another posting......Adieu!

did my old body a favour....

Finally did a favour to my ol' body & signed up for yoga classes again. No 'ifs' no 'buts' no 'too far away' cos it's just next to my office literally. Body's been crying for help cos the slightest efforts requires HUGE huffing & puffing. So far, it's been 1 week & I have been faithfully going for at least 2 classes during my lunch breaks.

1st class was a breathing class "Pranayama"- Yes, you read it right "Breathing" as "air in-air out". But man! That class was a toughie!! I didn't know breathing or asking my lungs to work is actually WORK! but after that 1 class, I did feel better about myself. I know I know it's too early to tell with 1 class but hey! I can do self-motivation right? :)

2nd class was supposed to be yoga therapy for those bodies like mine that suffers from back ache, shoulder ache & neck aches. Didn't really enjoy that class cos it was too slow plus I was too used to my previous yoga instructor (loooooongg time ago) that went step by step by breathing into the yoga pose as opposed to the current instructor that went on the basis of "put this foot here & that foot there & turn!"

For those not too familiar with yoga, hop over to wikipedia for a snap shot. To the rest of us who are doing our bodies a disservice by not exercising (moi included) - do give yoga or any other exercises a try cos at most it's an hour a week.

NAMASTE

BabyGem's on retail... at Senteurs de Provence (Millenia Walk)

I have finally dived into retail...... My BabyGem watch items are now on sale at a nice quaint little shop called "Senteurs de Provence" at #01-57B Millenia Walk (Tel:63344163).



Elaine, the lady boss who happened to be an ol' college schoolmate was kind enuf to give me some space at her shop to display my pieces. Her opening hours are Mon - Sun: 10.30am - 9.30pm.

More details at my BG blog....do try to go down for a look-see cos Elaine's body cream & french perfumes are to die-for!

New Year Resolution.....

Song Lyrics of "The Rose"

Some say love it is a river
That drowns the tender reed
Some say love it is a razer
That leaves your soul to blead

Some say love it is a hunger
an endless aching need
I say love it is a flower
and you it's only seed

It's the heart afraid of breaking
that never learns to dance
It's the dream afraid of waking
That never takes the chance
It's the one who won't be taken
Who cannot seem to give
And the soul afraid of dying
That never learns to live

When the night has been too lonely
And the road has been too long
And you think that love is only
For the lucky and the strong
Just remember in the winter
Far beneath the bitter snows
Lies the seed
That with the sun's love
In the spring
Becomes the rose

My only new year's resolution is to remind myself of the lyrics of this song as personally, once you start loving, that's when everything falls into place & all work & sacrifices are worthwhile....

HAPPY NEW 2007 to one & all!

Alila Manggis, Bali Trip

Back to the dreary side of rain in Spore after 4 whole days of glorious sunshine in Bali - Alila Manggis to be specific (East Bali). Thankfully nothing happened during the time we were there....

We were lucky to have been blessed throughout our stay there with more than enough sunshine to re-charge the body batteries with loads of r&r cos the resort that we stayed in was far from town i.e. not walking distance (15 min car ride) & no other shopping streets around the resort. It was basically "wake-up - breakfast- pool- lunch - pool/nap -dinner -dreamland" for the past 4 days. This life suits me fine after so much of rushing around for the past few centuries *hahaha* a lil exaggeration doesn't hurt no one yah?;)

However, with a view like the pic below every evening at sunset from my room almost every evening, who can ask for more yah?

We had our usual holiday massage at the famous Spa Alila (related to an earlier post of spa at Alila Ubud). Thankfully, the spa was part of the package deal we got from Garuda cos they got their prices in USD! Had a fun time - love to be back there sometime soon (I hope)! :)

Upcoming Trip to Bali

Arising from the recent bomb threats following the acquittal of Bashir, there has been heightened security listing for Indonesia (in particular Bali) for the Christmas and New Year season. This means that hubby & i are put in a position where we have to consider cancelling our trip to Bali starting tomorrow.

After discussions with the travel agent and amongst ourselves, given the fact that the agent informed us that we are the only one who have expressed concerns on travelling there, we decided to go ahead with our Christmas trip, bearing in mind that we have to avoid the touristy places like Kuta and that the resort that we have chosen is far from the maddening crowd as well.

Nonetheless, it's a shame that the beautiful island (of which we have very fond memories of) will be again subjected to such unfairness.

Am looking forward to 4 days of sun and sand with the kids, at Alila Manggis away from the Christmas crowd here in Spore & a bit of r & r.

Hopefully the island will be spared of the gloom that they have experienced for the past few years.....

For more info, please read the news article on New Bali threat as Bashir is cleared

Christmas Gifting

For this year's Christmas gifting, I have contributed to the World Vision organisation the $ I have set aside for gifts meant for MBA, my special pals from college. To me, this is a yearly tribute to our friendship & a great way to remind ourselves of all the blessings we have each received for the year.

To MBA, MERRY CHRISTMAS!
I am sure you all will be pleased to know that you have contributed to 2 goats to a family in Myanmar and a pair of sheep to an Ethiopian family.

For those who are rushing about thinking of last minute shopping for special persons close to your heart, why not gift a gift of hope on their behalf by contributing to a worthy cause?

Besides World Vision, here are a few web-links you can access....they need as much help as you can give so that they can continue to do the great work for humans & those who share our planet.......

1. WWF for a living planet - Gifts for a Living Planet start from $15, and they make a real difference to WWF's conservation work around the world.
2. --Kwong Wai Shiu Hospital--is a charitable organization committed to providing quality healthcare to the sick and needy in Singapore.
3. Sharity Gift Box 2006 by The Boys' Brigade this is another initiative to bring Christmas cheer to the less fortunate in Singapore by donating specified food and household items or fulfilling specific wishes. Please help as much as you can. As of 15 Dec 06, their Wishes update indicates that only 25% of the food wishes & 22.5% of the specific wishes have been fulfilled.

to one & all, MERRY CHRISTMAS & A HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Fully braced up!

I finally got my full braces! Straight teeth in 1.5 yrs' time (I seriously hope it's only going to take that long!) I have heard of bad stories that caused the braces to be left on for 3 whole years!

Many colleagues asked why I bother to do it now at a ripe ol age of 34...well, to me it's a case of "now or never" cos come next year is another age milestone for me. Well, truth be told, vanity does play a small part but the other part is simply cos my bottom teeth really getting crowded & more difficult to maintain. I never had the good fortune of doing braces when i was younger so in effect, it took me some 9 years of working before I could save up enough (but more importantly, enough courage to do the task of getting an orthodontist to look into fixing braces for me).

I got the full metal braces (not the stylistic ceramic ones that's more common nowadays) cos it just takes a shorter time according to my orthodontist & costs $1K lesser to fix & lesser $ to maintain in case the brackets fall out.

Had to start the upper row of teeth to move it outwards so that the lower braces could be fitted. That process alone took 3 visits to the orthodontist (some 3 month or so) before the "problematic" lower row of teeth could be fixed with the brackets yesterday.

The result of having full braces is inability to eat anything other than porridge. Great side effect of slimming down! Double plus yah?! Sure going to miss my fav foods but i think it's for a better cause - straight teeth!

I am BACK! ..... The colour of purple....

Finally decided to self medicate to see what's wrong & found out that blogger is not used to my mac book safari & had to download firefox to get things going. Like what I see so far but keeping fingers crossed on whether it will fit well with my macbook safari....

just shifted to my new cubicle in the office & so far a fair number of people have asked me if i like purple cos my mugs, water bottle, spectacles, crystals are all in purple. Decided to do some surfing to check out & my findings are quite interesting....

The Color Psychology of Purple

Purple is the symbol of royalty and wealth.

Purple also represents wisdom and spirituality.

Purple does not often occur in nature, it can sometimes appear exotic or artificial.

What do YOU think?

Answers to the 3 tagged questions....

Ah! My dear MBA folks hve been kind enough to give me not too difficult questions to answer on a long dreay virus filled night (sorry EVERYONE in my family are sick sick sick).... so off to the answering:

(Q1) Have you ever cheated while playing a board game ?
OF COURSE! me certainly no angel when i play games......very mean competitive streak in me.

I also know when my lil girl nat cheated as well...in a way...cos it's a card game called "Old Maid" and she was supposed to find pairs & she cheated by peeking at the cards when placing them down. Ah! my daugther has my mean competitive streak as well ;)

(Q2) Have you ever said an ugly baby was cute to be kind to the mother?
OF COURSE! the worst is when I see an "old" child ....u know those babies that look like ol' froggies & avoided as much eye contact as possible with the mom. Just found one baby photo that looks as bad....



(Q3) When was the last time you called someone a "bitch"?
my dears....we are not called Mega Bitches for nothin! OF COURSE I said this like a gazillion times over the last 34 years of living - not all loud thank goodness or else wld cause a fight where i go.....

So Az (sorry can't link to you), it's off to you!

MBA....what you mean to me

MBA....my long-time friends since college (the best time of my life where i had real friends for the 1st time in my life BTW)...

MBA....my best friends from college....

MBA.....their shoulders were the ones I cried on when my heart was broken....

MBA.....my girls who did the once-over for my future husband-to-be....;)

MBA...the gals who were my "ah jies" for my wedding......

MBA...the ones who were there for my kids births.....

MBA....the "de-facto" godmothers for my children (whether u like it or not!)....

MBA....for better for worse we are together.

Yep....MBA is complete. :) fi did a nice thing to cast MBA in blog world http://2vamp.blogspot.com/2005/07/mba.html

Feng Shui in office

Just shifted to a new dept & man! the feng shui there is really not good. For starters, my back is not against a wall (much like the picture (sourced from wofs.com)) & I am seated in a place that is somewhat a walkway to the ladies. Couldn't do much except to place my amethyst goede, dragon tortise, my guiding ox and rat. hopefully it'll help in the bad position that i currently have.

Since i put up the feng shui items, i feel better. Been also giving the area some yang energy by switching on the lights overlooking my desk (something i never did in my earlier location).

However, had some of my earlier feng shui items missing from the shift. Very unusual as I made sure I had everything nicely packed and accounted for when I shifted. will really miss my little tree and my crystal formation...feel like a connection of me is missing somewhat. :P

Whilst doing some online surfing, saw that there's an old flower shaped coin that i got at the flea mkt for abt a dollar that's actually called "The Plum Blossom Coin". According to www.wofs.com, the coin brings longevity and happiness. On the reverse side, it carries the 5 auspicious symbols - the Bat (for happiness and good fortune), Deer (For a long, carefree life), Peach (For good health and a harmonious marriage), Magpie (For good news and celebrations) and the Ingot (For wealth and prosperity). how's that for a buck yah? :) this certainly made my day!!!

here's a picture (sourced from wofs.com):

Paperback "The hidden messages in water" by Dr. Masaru Emoto

I was frankly about to lie down for the nite but I remembered that i just saw this GREAT book at times book shop yesterday that totally blew me away with its revelations....it's a book by Dr. Masaru Emoto called "the hidden messages in water".

This is a brief from http://www.amazon.com/ "This book has the potential to profoundly transform your world view. Using high-speed photography, Dr. Masaru Emoto discovered that crystals formed in frozen water reveal changes when specific, concentrated thoughts are directed toward them. He found that water from clear springs and water that has been exposed to loving words shows brilliant, complex, and colorful snowflake patterns. In contrast, polluted water, or water exposed to negative thoughts, forms incomplete, asymmetrical patterns with dull colors. The implications of this research create a new awareness of how we can positively impact the earth and our personal health. "

The images within that book were simply amazing. the crystals that formed naturally when given good thoughts like peace (in any language BTW) and those non-crystals that formed when the water is exposed to words like "you fool" or even "satan" were simply have to be seen to believe. would love to get that book only if it comes with just illustrations like a coffee book. am hopeful that this book "messages of the water" will make its way to someone who uses offensive words, expresses hurtful thoughts or simply lives in a negative way to reflect his/her words, thoughts and deeds.

HIGHLY recommended for an enlightening read! link to an artilce in nbc website: http://www.nbc10.com/news/5455548/detail.html# and photo courtesy from that website as well....think about it....

nov 06 fancy faire

finally I am on BROADBAND! hopefully that means that i will be able to update my blog more frequently than before....

been up in earfuls of work lately but recently had a brief respite from work in getting my babygem watches displayed at a fair in Nov 06 www.fancyfaire.com flew solo for the 2 days. fortunately i met some really wonderful neighbours - a girl by the name of Yvonne and her sister Elaine and their mom Rosalind. they were great neigbours - caring, wonderful and kindly. the girls' mom even shared her lunch food with me - it was soooooo nice to meet such people. makes the whole 2 days very enjoyable :)

Going to the zoo & photography

Going to the zoo happens to be a almost weekly affair for me & my 2 kids in tow. Why? I don't know.... used to really wonder myself to death on that question but am happy that my kids like the outdoors unlike many Spore kids.

I do hope that they will grow to love the animals that occupy the same space as us on the earth - high ideals from a simple affair but hey! I am allowed to dream right?
cos the world do need more lovers than destroyers at the rate animals are dying...please support wwf if you can as a lil will go a long way for those animals.


I have been finding my own lil "sanctuary" in our weekly trips by taking in the space, air & at times taking shots (i.e. photography). There're rare moments that only a picture can communicate. I took this nice photo the other day at the 'Fragile Forest' which made my day. It still brings a smile to my face & has its pride of place in my comp wallpaper.

Tarot cards reading

Tarot Card reading - one of the unexplained things I like to try when things get tough or unexplainable. I know it may sound quite "out-of-this-world" when you think about it but hey! I find solace in getting my readings done.

I first encountered my trusty card reader, Renee Chan back in 2002. She was doing one of the programmes that 1929 Hotel invited for their launch party. At that time, I was undergoing some internal unexplained tension - the free reading was fast but in that 5-10mins, she was able to help me understand what I going through.

Before I went for the reading, I was confused, irritated and unsure of my path in life. After the reading, the feeling of uncertainty, confusion was all gone. She spoke to me much like what I was thinking I was trying to tell myself -I think I was just too preoccupied to listen to that inner voice of mine.

For someone who works with words day in day out, I was speechless when Renee, using the tarot cards, spoke to me about my inner thoughts and direction that I was pointing to myself. I can't really describe it except that I felt as if my fears/burdens were lifted & I was able to see things more clearly after the reading.

From then onwards, I have seen Renee around 2-3 times since - both for a yearly reading and when I feel that I can't hear myself anymore. Her advice has helped me to be calmer but her insights using numerology has also made me understand myself better. Recommended Renee's services to my friends & they are all glad to have seen her.

Kudos to her for doing such a great job at calming my nerves and relieving the stress for me!

She has a website & provides personal consultations.

Penchant for Feng Shui items

The study of Feng Shui is a recent penchant.... Lilian Too's a good beginner & insightful educator. Kang Li @ FuLuShou is my fav haunt when I want some good luck coming my way :) Got some wonderful education from another fav info cum shopping boutique on what to do with your feng shui purchases as well!

There's antidotes for everything under the sun! Used to be a non-believer and treat it all as "hocus-pocus" but something happened last year. I got into a bad state & things got better after I got my 1st crystal at Kang Li. Guess perceptions do change as one gets older.... LOL

Would definately want to travel the world using one of these crystal globes as my guide!

Love the World of Feng Shui magazine (it has a store too!!!) cos it's soooo easy to digest for absolute clueless me :) Looked at the feng_shui_times_forum & man! it's loaded with info about flying stars, eight mansions & more stuff that I hve no clue about!

Will definately share more as time to come as my knowledge of this ancient art evolves!

Feng Shui Tip of The Day!! (sourced from WOF.com)
"Do not sit facing the Grand Duke Jupiter as it brings the bad luck of failure and obstacles."

BTW Grand Duke Jupiter is North this year as it changes every year.

Cartoon Tip for those with taboo bed placements (sourced from WOF.com)